March 3, 2011


I’m baaack! After quite a few people let me know that my absence was unacceptable…. I thought about it and I decided that they were right. I was being unacceptable. I started this blog to share my life, good and bad. To be accountable and I wasn’t. I thought that I could slip away into the oblivion of my depression and stress and that would be ok. Well, I am here to say that its not. You were all right. And yes…. I am admitting it! Someone other than me was right.

The wedding is soon. Oh so very soon. There are so many things that I am working on and that will all have to be discussed in a later post. But for now I would like to share with you all the Spring in2 action challenge. Please do this…. its good for all of us to get healthy (and do the 100 push up challenge too).  I am going to say something here and its not something that I am proud of…. but I am 227lbs. I was less. I was working on the weight loss. And then I got hit by that stupid car. And here I am 24lbs heavier. Well, I have a dress to fit into in 79 days and I am going to do it. I will post pictures later. I feel like I need to share what my body looks like now if I am ever going to push past it. Plus Bill and I would like to go to the caribbean on a cruise for our honeymoon and I refuse to have a muffin top in those pictures. So…. in that spirit… I am team Muffin Topless. HA HA HA. Anyway. Join me and we can support each other.

I missed you all and I will be back soon to chat, But I just got home from the gym and my arms are tired…. typing takes more muscles than you realize. By-eeeee.

September 30, 2010

The Horror…..

Hi all…. ok so I have been a slacker lately. But on the first day of my 30th year on the earth, I am back. I do not know that I will will be here everyday. In fact, I can tell you that I won’t. I have no access to a computer on Sunday or Monday while I am at my new job.  But I will be around.

I start my triumphant comeback with an update on the weight issue. I have fallen off the wagon. And I didn’t fall onto a soft pillow either. Today…. I hit with a thud! I found the wedding dress that I want to wear. The dress comes in sizes up to 16. I am not a bridal 16…. this I know, bridal runs smaller. But DAMN!!! what I am hurts. I have to lose somewhere close to 10 inches from bust, waist, and hips individually. So…. while I will continue to blog about my life and the things that go on in it, the tone of this page will change a bit….  I want to look a certain way in the dress that I love and stand next to the love of my life on my wedding day…. and I only have a short time to do it in. T minus 233 days and counting!

September 3, 2010

Greetings from vacation!

So…. we are on vacation. We are in Westfir, Oregon visiting my inlaws. We are having such a great time, and the kids are really enjoying themselves. I will write more in a day or so, but right now we are starting to get breakfast ready. Bye all.

August 26, 2010

Feels so good!

I woke up this morning with the best of intentions. But the couch called me and I fell asleep with the puppies for about an hour. I woke up to Bill saying something about something and promptly fell back into dream land. When 9 finally rolled around, I started to pick myself up and decided that today would be the day. The one where I stop shoving down cookies made with a stick of butter (even though they make me swoon) and start taking responsibility for the fact that I am the only one that can make me drop 30lbs by the wedding. And oh… how I long to be in that size 10.Sure it feels so very good to lay around on the couch and eat eat eat. But that isn’t going to help anyone.

I have been signed up for for a while now, but now I am actually using it. The MyPlate feature is lovely. Nearly every food that you can think of is cataloged with its nutritional values. All you have to do is type in what and how much and it adds it up. Then you put in what you did for a work out…. today I did the P90X Cardio X video. I know that if I was to start P90X that would not be the video that I would do today, but it felt so good. But it was not in the system, so I entered high impact aerobics instead and it said that I burned about 550 calories in 47 minutes. Thats awesome. I may do it again before bed. You know… try to get my body burning all night while I sleep.

My goal is to intake 1800 calories per day and burn 1000 in addition to the calories I use to live. As long as I eat clean foods and up my intake if I start to bonk… I should loose an average of 3lbs per week. With 9 months to go until the wedding I should be in fine shape.

I am going to try to be on track. I may fall off the wagon every now and again. Who knows after all…. I’m only human.

August 25, 2010

Where have you been?

I have been hearing this question a lot lately and I think that it is time that I share with the class. Bill and I had a miscarriage at the end of last month. I have spent the last month quietly asking “why me!?”, and I have realized that there is no real reason other than it wasn’t the right time for us. We have discussed it and we will be actively trying after the wedding. Right now, we are just happy to have the family that we do. And Bill, being the wonderful man that he is, has been as understanding of my wack-a-doodle emotions and reclusiveness as anyone could have been. But I think that it is time for me to jump back into life with both feet. And that is what I am doing today. Please consider this my formal re-introduction to the blogosphere. I missed you all.

August 3, 2010

Looking back

It seems to me that many people I know or bloggers that I read are taking this time to look back at the past 12 months and see where they were and how far they have come. Ever the analyzer that I am, I though that this would be fun. I have come so far. But I cannot just talk about the past year. For me, the journey started when I arrived in Sandpoint, ID on August 16th of 2008.

My favorite picture that I took of the canyon.

I left the Grand Canyon not knowing what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that I needed a change for the better. Leaving an abusive relationship of 3 years, I wasn’t really sure who I was anymore. But I knew that I liked the person that I used to be and I wanted to restart my relationship with her. Depression got the best of me for a few months. It was understandable. But a chance meeting while playing pool in a bar would lead me to where I am now. I played pool with Ben for a while, but it was all superficial chit chat until I lost my house due to a flaky roommate. Ben noticed that I wasn’t myself and asked what was wrong. I told him and it turned out that he needed a roommate. I never would have guessed that he would become one of my best friends over that year.

The sun coming up my first morning in Sandpoint

Feeling better about myself and living with a stable roommie, gave me the confidence to start dating. Let me just say, that sucked! But then I met Bill. I thought we were in different places in our lives. He was fresh out of an 8 year marriage with 3 kids and I wanted to have all that of my own. So we were friends. Its funny how sometimes you realize that what you have always wanted is right there in front of you. Bill knew that I wanted a child and he wanted that with me. He just wanted to make me happy. And he does!

I am happy. I have ideas and plans for the future with someone that fills my heart with so much love that I never knew it was possible. We are going to be married next year and we are starting to plan our family. I have three of the most wonderful step children that anyone could ever ask for. I count myself among the lucky ones in this world. We laugh hard, we work hard, and we love hard. and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My Future

August 2, 2010

Stuff going on

Bill and I are starting to talk about houses. We are not going to buy this year, but we would like to put our money into something other than someone else’s assets. There are so many things that we have to do in this next year. We are just now starting to look at our finances and see where those are and the cost of a house that would fit our family. There are just so many ducks that have to be in a row first. Like a job for me. That’s a big one. I have an interview at the natural foods store on Wednesday, so fingers crossed for that. I would love to have that job. It would be a great place for me to learn and grow as a foodie and a blogger.

There is a home inspector coming tomorrow to look at our master bathroom. We have lived here for a year and I just can’t seem to get the mold to go away. Now it is so bad that Bill will take a shower in there and he won’t do anything else. He will not step foot in there. Its annoying and the mold is dangerous, so I called our landlord, whom I thought was aware of it before we moved in and asked for help. Hopefully they won’t condemn the whole building and we can just replace the drywall and subfloor in there.

I am on a creative streak with my food, but I am forgetting to take photos of it. I have made some amazing salads and we just bought about $200 in groceries to replenish the pantry and stuff, so I will be making some great stuff. I can’t wait to make Buffalo Tofu this week…. yummy yummy. Yokes had frog’s legs on managers special, so we bought two packs and I put them into the freezer until I can cook them later this week. I haven’t had them in many moons and I am so excited.

Well, I have to run…. I have a ton of stuff to do tomorrow and go to work, so I need sleep.