Feels so good!

I woke up this morning with the best of intentions. But the couch called me and I fell asleep with the puppies for about an hour. I woke up to Bill saying something about something and promptly fell back into dream land. When 9 finally rolled around, I started to pick myself up and decided that today would be the day. The one where I stop shoving down cookies made with a stick of butter (even though they make me swoon) and start taking responsibility for the fact that I am the only one that can make me drop 30lbs by the wedding. And oh… how I long to be in that size 10.Sure it feels so very good to lay around on the couch and eat eat eat. But that isn’t going to help anyone.

I have been signed up for LiveStrong.com for a while now, but now I am actually using it. The MyPlate feature is lovely. Nearly every food that you can think of is cataloged with its nutritional values. All you have to do is type in what and how much and it adds it up. Then you put in what you did for a work out…. today I did the P90X Cardio X video. I know that if I was to start P90X that would not be the video that I would do today, but it felt so good. But it was not in the system, so I entered high impact aerobics instead and it said that I burned about 550 calories in 47 minutes. Thats awesome. I may do it again before bed. You know… try to get my body burning all night while I sleep.

My goal is to intake 1800 calories per day and burn 1000 in addition to the calories I use to live. As long as I eat clean foods and up my intake if I start to bonk… I should loose an average of 3lbs per week. With 9 months to go until the wedding I should be in fine shape.

I am going to try to be on track. I may fall off the wagon every now and again. Who knows after all…. I’m only human.

Where have you been?

I have been hearing this question a lot lately and I think that it is time that I share with the class. Bill and I had a miscarriage at the end of last month. I have spent the last month quietly asking “why me!?”, and I have realized that there is no real reason other than it wasn’t the right time for us. We have discussed it and we will be actively trying after the wedding. Right now, we are just happy to have the family that we do. And Bill, being the wonderful man that he is, has been as understanding of my wack-a-doodle emotions and reclusiveness as anyone could have been. But I think that it is time for me to jump back into life with both feet. And that is what I am doing today. Please consider this my formal re-introduction to the blogosphere. I missed you all.

Looking back

It seems to me that many people I know or bloggers that I read are taking this time to look back at the past 12 months and see where they were and how far they have come. Ever the analyzer that I am, I though that this would be fun. I have come so far. But I cannot just talk about the past year. For me, the journey started when I arrived in Sandpoint, ID on August 16th of 2008.

My favorite picture that I took of the canyon.

I left the Grand Canyon not knowing what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that I needed a change for the better. Leaving an abusive relationship of 3 years, I wasn’t really sure who I was anymore. But I knew that I liked the person that I used to be and I wanted to restart my relationship with her. Depression got the best of me for a few months. It was understandable. But a chance meeting while playing pool in a bar would lead me to where I am now. I played pool with Ben for a while, but it was all superficial chit chat until I lost my house due to a flaky roommate. Ben noticed that I wasn’t myself and asked what was wrong. I told him and it turned out that he needed a roommate. I never would have guessed that he would become one of my best friends over that year.

The sun coming up my first morning in Sandpoint

Feeling better about myself and living with a stable roommie, gave me the confidence to start dating. Let me just say, that sucked! But then I met Bill. I thought we were in different places in our lives. He was fresh out of an 8 year marriage with 3 kids and I wanted to have all that of my own. So we were friends. Its funny how sometimes you realize that what you have always wanted is right there in front of you. Bill knew that I wanted a child and he wanted that with me. He just wanted to make me happy. And he does!

I am happy. I have ideas and plans for the future with someone that fills my heart with so much love that I never knew it was possible. We are going to be married next year and we are starting to plan our family. I have three of the most wonderful step children that anyone could ever ask for. I count myself among the lucky ones in this world. We laugh hard, we work hard, and we love hard. and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My Future

Stuff going on

Bill and I are starting to talk about houses. We are not going to buy this year, but we would like to put our money into something other than someone else’s assets. There are so many things that we have to do in this next year. We are just now starting to look at our finances and see where those are and the cost of a house that would fit our family. There are just so many ducks that have to be in a row first. Like a job for me. That’s a big one. I have an interview at the natural foods store on Wednesday, so fingers crossed for that. I would love to have that job. It would be a great place for me to learn and grow as a foodie and a blogger.

There is a home inspector coming tomorrow to look at our master bathroom. We have lived here for a year and I just can’t seem to get the mold to go away. Now it is so bad that Bill will take a shower in there and he won’t do anything else. He will not step foot in there. Its annoying and the mold is dangerous, so I called our landlord, whom I thought was aware of it before we moved in and asked for help. Hopefully they won’t condemn the whole building and we can just replace the drywall and subfloor in there.

I am on a creative streak with my food, but I am forgetting to take photos of it. I have made some amazing salads and we just bought about $200 in groceries to replenish the pantry and stuff, so I will be making some great stuff. I can’t wait to make Buffalo Tofu this week…. yummy yummy. Yokes had frog’s legs on managers special, so we bought two packs and I put them into the freezer until I can cook them later this week. I haven’t had them in many moons and I am so excited.

Well, I have to run…. I have a ton of stuff to do tomorrow and go to work, so I need sleep.